The Knights Who Say Ni
is part of the Great Lakes LB Groupís 2005 Exchange Ė
Monty Pythonís The Holy Grail.
Before beginning your quest for this box and the Grail please visit the Holy Grail main page (high speed) (dial-up) and read about the specifics of the series and about its special hitchhiker.
And now for something completely different.......
After galloping and gallivanting across numerous states the Knights Who Say "Ni!" found themselves in the quaint hamlet of Burnsville. Not knowing where they really were or where to go next they decided to go on a little journey.
Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop they were off in search of a fierce two headed dragon they had heard had been slayed in Parkwood Park. This dragon was so fierce and hideous that to look upon it (Aaagh! That word!) would cause one to seek shelter in the netherworld, where the storms were, rather than look upon this loathsome beast, even if it (Oh! My ears!) was dead (I don't know what would be worse, the dragon, or the netherworld. You decide once you get there).
Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop they arrived near where the dragon had met its (Don't say that word!) demise and came upon a peculiar structure made for some unknown purpose to them. They looked at this thing and could only say "Ni!" Upon further inspection they found what appeared to be ascending levels of some unknown material. Bravely putting one foot in front of the other they climbed up.
Upon reaching the summit of the strange contraption they espied a blue gate. They cautiously approached the contraption. Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop. Trembling in their boots they realized what was in front of them. It (Aargh! No more!) was the fabled Corkscrew of certain, or at least very likely, DOOM! Standing was hard enough for them, much less rational and coherent thought that they almost didn't see the small, steep path in front of them at 62 degrees before they fainted from fright from the Corkscrew of certain, or at least very likely, DOOM!
Upon waking up after passing out from the Corkscrew of certain, or at least very likely, DOOM! they quickly fled from their perch. Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop they galloped towards the woods to go see the loathsome dragon that had been killed quite recently. Seeing the angle of this slope made them all "dismount" their trusty steeds. Tying them to a nearby tree they carefully made their way down into the dark forest.
After a very short while they came to an impassable pile of twigs and trees (a shrubbery!?) laid across their path. "What are we to do" they moaned as they were looking at twins at 105 degrees. "Very simple" someone said, "We'll just go to the right a little and go around this impassable pile of wood". "Of course" they all chimed in, "We knew that!"
After a couple steps in the direction of the twins they saw a small fallen tree on their left. They also saw a path at 58 degrees and mustered all their strength to step over the tree. They followed the faint trail curving down through the valley. They soon came to a T in the path. "Ni!" they said, "Which way do we go"? Just then they heard their brave steeds whinny in fear and decided it (don't use that word!!) best to go away from whatever it (Don't say it!) was that spooked their horses. After they came to pass under two leaning trees they cried out in unison "Ni!", "Ni!", "Ni!" Not again! they had come to another T in the path! Really confused this time they just sat there for awhile not knowing what to do.
.............Three hours later..........
"Ni!" they all cried out, "We're still here at this T! Which way do we go"??? After three hours of sitting there it (Aaagh! Now I'm saying it!) was strange that no one had seen the portal to the netherworld where the storms were. "Aha"! someone said, "There is one of the portals to the netherworld over in that direction". So they all decided to go in that direction because they figured if the stories were true about this hideous, loathsome beast they wanted to know where the portal was to hide from the dragon (even though it (Kill the word!) was dead).
Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop, Clip-Clop they went down the path (I know what you're thinking, they left their steeds tied to a tree at the beginning of the path, but these are the Knights Who Say "Ni!" we're talking about here). Soon they came to another impassable pile of logs and decided to just walk over them this time.
Just past another leaning tree they froze. "Ni!","What is that stench they cried out"? It (Have mercy!) was none other than the rotting carcass of the most foul beast that has ever lived on their left side. Its (Uncle! Uncle!) two hideous heads stretched out towards them made them all want to run into the portal but they had second thoughts once they discovered what the portal really contained. "Who would like to go and find a resting place for the treasure we carry? It (Ecky ecky ecky, zip wong patang!) will be truly safe here for no one will dare venture to these lengths in the face of this hideous and loathsome creature to uncover our treasure" one of the Knights said. "Hello? Anyone? Helllooooooo?" No one dared to answer. " All right then you yellow bastards, I'll hide the treasure myself!" Crouching down to stay under the dragons wings which were covering most of its (This is the end of us!) two heads the brave knight pressed forward. Up and over the heads and necks he went, all the way to the feet of the loathsome and foul beast. Finding a spot for the treasure he held in his hands he placed it (We're defeated!) with care so no one would be aware that it (We're dead!) was there.
Before you set out read the waiver of responsibility and disclaimer.